June 2009
17 posts
Don't Reply →
“I hereby resolve to cease colloquially using the word ‘super.’”
Why I love DC →
2 tags
Big Gay Feature #2 →
Formula for Creating an Awkward Photo
(Y+B+P*H)/d=A
Where: A= Value of the Awkwardness Y= Yourself B= Baby that is not yours P= Person of the opposite sex, to whom you are not married H= Your apparent happiness d= Physical distance between you and said person of the opposite sex
1st Edition Federalist Papers →
Some guy bought a a first edition, leather bound copy of the Federalist Papers for $7 from a flea market. Now he’s auctioning it off for $100,000. Frist of all: lucky bastard! Second: I think that it would hurt my soul to part with something like that. Sure, the fact that he bought the book for .0007% of its value makes it a sweet find, but it’s also an amazing piece to have in...
Young Money Baby!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/tlg/1218083689.html
Priceless CL add from today:
“My son is turning 16 and really wanted Lil Wayne to perform for his birthday gala. Unfortunately his schedule will not permit him to make it. I need a Lil Wayne impersonator desperately. Here is the kicker my son is blind so you do not need to look like the rapper just sound like him. I understand he...
Congrats, kid. You can now one-up anyone's story. →
“If Thin Mints became illegal, I would become the King Pin in their illegal...”
I love DC
So, I’ve started writing for another blog: www.welovedc.com . This doesn’t mean that Kirkles is over, it just means that I’m going to be neglecting it and frequently posting my content from the aforementioned website. Visit my author page at: http://www.welovedc.com/author/kirkanderson/
HAHA! Stupid Hipsters! →
May 2009
4 posts
Dell Empowers Woman, Hilariously →
“Office supply manufacturer Bic erases 88 jobs, folds staple Kansas plant to clip...”
– Best Fark Headline of the Week
April 2009
20 posts
Survival Guide: Location
Your location is vital to you surviving, post-apocalypse. You should follow one simple mantra: STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE. Large population centers are likely targets for belligerents, provide a breeding ground for disease, and are where you’ll run into the most zombies. Generally, your best bet is going to be to head for the hills and to live off the land until you think the coast is clear.
Resist...
It has begun... →
Survival Guide: Guns
Guns should be the corner stone of your post-apocalyptic survival cache. They are truly a one stop shop for all of your survival needs, and, oddly enough, the item that the Armageddon surviving protagonist most often lacks. Guns provide a means self defense against the infected, the mutated, roaming bandits, and robots, depending on the scenario you find yourself in. They provide you with a...
Post-Apocalypse Survival Guide
With the imminence of the Swine Flu pandemic and the ever present threat of a sudden zombie uprising, it behooves everyone to have a post-apocalyptic survival plan. While apocalyptic situations vary, an overarching strategic survival framework can be applied to all, albeit with minor tweaks to provide for the peculiarities of post apocalyptic landscape which you find yourself in. I wish to...
Here, nerds! Now you know. →
"This ain't Sea World, this as real as it gets!" →
“Who is Miley Cyrus? The one with all the gums? She need to get a gum transplant!”
– Jamie Foxx
The Crazy Cat Lady
As a young person, I often wonder what the future holds for myself and my friends. Typically, these musings relegate themselves to the realm of success: “who will be the first to make $1 million?” “Who will be a politician?” “Who will contribute something great to culture?” But, I was thinking this weekend that not all of my friends will be great successes....
lol @ women →
Rocket Fuel Found in Baby Formula →
If I had a child, I know exactly which brand of formula I’d be buying. ROCKET BABIES!
A page from the Worship Leader's Handbook
As a military brat, if been a part of a lot of churches. While their theology, preaching styles, standard’s of dress, and population make up vary substantially, one thing is true of every church I’ve ever gone to: the worship leaders are all exactly the same. I have long suspected that all worship leaders posess a single document that informs their style, but, until today, I was...
7 tags
March 2009
22 posts
That'll do, Pig. That'll do. →
E.B. White on Corporate Lingo
“Another segment of society that has constructed a language of its own is business. People in business say that toner cartridges are in short supply, that they have updated the next shipment of these cartridges, and that they will finalize their recommendations at the next meeting of the board. They are speaking a language familiar and dear to them. Its portentous nouns and verbs invest...
A Slightly Belated Irish Joke
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott are all drinking beer in a pub. Three flies come along and one lands and drowns in each of the three glasses. Seeing the fly in his beer, the Englishman slides it towards the bar tender and politely asks for a new pint. The Scott fishes the fly out of his beer, flicks it away and continues drinking. The Irishman lifts the insect out by its wings, holds it...
Oh Lord. Bless this hand grenade, that with it... →
